Not the Destination
by Slash4Femme
Summary: Multiple Crossovers: the Doctor, Tara and River are on a journey


_This is a piece of fanfiction based on _Dr. WhoBuffy the Vampire Slayer, _and _Firefly_. The main characters are the Doctor, Tara, and River. I do not own the characters or universe for either, nor do I make money off of them. I do play with both a quite a bit through._

"It's not the destination, but the journey that matters" (proverb)

Not the Destination

Tara doesn't know how long she'd been sitting there. Hours, days, years, it feels like a hundred years and she figures it's possible it has been. What she's sitting on looks and feels like a large rock, but that's all she can see, everywhere is grey mist, a grey nothingness. She'd always thought the afterlife would be different, she wasn't sure how, being Wicca she never thoughts she'd go to Heaven, not the Christian Heaven anyway, but she never thought it would be so. . . so empty.

She sighs; she wishes something would happen, anything. Maybe she thinks, maybe she's a ghost and hasn't moved on yet, but if that's true shouldn't she be with Willow? Or at least in the Summers' house, not in this grey misty nothingness sitting on a rock? She sighs again; she misses Willow, misses her so much, and the thought that she'll never see her again makes her chest hurt and her head feel dizzy and sick. She doesn't even know why she's dead, why someone would shoot her, it makes no sense, she's never done anything. She has this suspicion she was just an innocent bystander caught in the crossfire, and that seems like such a depressing way to die. Actually she can't think of a non-depressing way to die.

Suddenly there's a noise, a strange rushing, screeching noise, and she sees a blue light in the mist. She stands quickly wondering if this is what she's been waiting for. The noise gets louder, the ground shakes and something slowly appears. Tara frowns, it seems to be a large blue box like an old phone booth, with the words 'Police Box' in white, the noise stops, the door opens. A tall, dark haired man looks out, looks to both sides, looks up, looks down, finally looks at Tara, looks vaguely surprised to see her standing there. Tara looks back at him totally confused; this was not what she had expected. They stare at each other. Finally the man speaks,

"hello, I'm the Doctor. What are you doing here?"

He sounds British like Giles, Tara almost laughs, almost.

"I'm dead"

the Doctor looks surprised

"Really? You don't look dead."

Tara looks down at herself, it's true, she doesn't look dead. She knows she was shot, she knows there should be a huge bleeding hole in her chest, but there's not. Just her, in jeans and her favorite blue sweeter.

"Wwwell. . ." she stammers then because she can't think of anything else to say

"I'm Tara" and sticks out her hand.

The Doctor takes it and shakes it calmly.

"pleased to meet you Tara,"

He turns back to the blue box, then pauses

"would you like a ride"

Tara thinks about it, then shrugs

"sure"

Tara doesn't know how long it is until River comes to live with them on the TARDIS. After all the question of time is really moot when one is traveling with a Time Lord. River is small and pale, with dark hair, and eyes that takes secrets and hide them away. River looks eighteen but acts like she's a child, which Tara finds both frightening and soothing at once. Tara hears whispers of what was done to her, but River is a quiet kind of crazy, and Tara doesn't mind. Some days River hides and Tara and the Doctor can't find her, not even for meals. Some days she wanders touching the walls murmuring to herself. Other times she stays in the control room with the Doctor watching him work the control panels to the TARDIS. Some nights Tara can here her walking the halls of the TARDIS. Some nights she comes and crawls into Tara's bed and sleeps curled against her.

Tara loves the TARDIS, loves exploring it. It's so big, no matter how many rooms she goes through there are always more to find. In one she finds wardrobes of clothes, odds and ends of clothes from all different time periods. There are boxes from other Doctor's with ruffled shirts, a long colorful scarf, a question mark umbrella, green felt hat, a long velvet coat and leather jacket. She finds a Sergeant Pepper jacket in bright blue with gold trim for her, and a beautiful red shawl with flowers and peacocks for River, and a huge hat with a peacock feather to go with the shawl.

She finds an old record player too and brings it into the control room before cranking it up. It plays waltzes and Tara and River waltz around the control room while the Doctor watches. Then River whirls off and before anyone can react she grabs the Doctor's hands and waltzes with him spinning around and around the control station, and Tara watches and laughs. Then it's her spinning and the Doctor's arms around her waist and on her shoulder. And she spinning, spinning, the white lights of the TARDIS whirling around her, and she can feel the Doctor's arms holding her, keeping her from falling, pulling her close.

She thinks it will be Ok, be safe. She hasn't dreamed in so long, she almost forgets she's dead. But that night she dreams, scary monsters in the night. Some of the monsters wear her father's face, some of them wear Willow's all dressed in black, her eyes dark, cold and shining. Then there's a crack so loud it hurts and pain tares through her chest and Willows bleeding, no she's bleeding and Willow yells but she can't hear because she's falling. Then she's awake screaming, shaking and crying.

"shhh, shhh"

Hands hold her, brush her hair from her face, strong arms. She doesn't know when River came into her room. How long she's been there, she just sits clinging to the smaller woman, crying and shaking and not knowing how to stop. River rocks her like a child, and she should be strong, not River, and she tries to be strong and stop the tears but they come and come.

"Mia mia, it's not real, the monsters aren't real"

River's voice is calm and sure and Tara raises her head to meet the other woman's eyes, which as always give nothing away.

"no they are. You know they are"

and this is backwards she things so very backwards. River's the one with monsters in her head and Tara's just dead. Then she's laughing, laughing and she can't stop and River just sits and holds her until it's over.

The Doctor is doing something with his electric screwdriver when Tara enters the control room of the TARDIS. River is wearing a purple kimono and playing jacks on the floor next where the Doctor works. Tara leans against the doorway watching them. They're not the people she expected to spend eternity with, but she guess you don't choose your family in life, so why expect it to be any different in death. At least she's getting another chance.

"Where are we going?"

The Doctor doesn't look up,

"I really have no idea"

And that answer seems to suit them all just fine.


End file.
